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June 4, 2010 22:04Why do we forget bad stuff?Why do we forget bad things when we get older? I've heard that it's some kind of defence mechanism in our brain, but I haven't got a straight answer... For example: My dad always speaks so firmly about his parents even though they were against him when he was small. Now they're dead, but he talks about them as if they were gods... Any answers or speculations are welcome ;) |
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I do not agree that we forget bad things. For example, my grandma always tell me about all her bad happenings.
I think an answer to this query depends on psyhological aspects.
I think you forget the bad things when something really dramatic something and you just can accept or realize the reality and you just ignore it pretending it never happened . This doesn't happen as you get older but it generally happens even when you are 5 years old .
About your dad... I think it has nothing to do with this , it is just that when a person dies there is no point in insulting a dead man. you have to respect the dead and remember the good memories you had with them because hating them is meaningless. Also, he would like his children to respect their grandparents no matter how they were .
Please, read Vaillant's categorization of defence mechanisms.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defence_mechanism#Vaillant.27s_categorizati...
Unfortunatelly, sometimes I feel like I cannot forget some bad memories. Generally I could say that most of the bad memories I remember are personal blunders. That acts like a mechanism as not to repeat the same blunders again. Others though, eg bad surcumstances which where brough on you (and not really your fault) tend to "vanish". Remebering them does not help you anyhow, on the contrary you feel as if you are scraching cuts (do not scrach cuts is a Greek saying :p )
In my own opinion, we tend to forget bad stuffs for us to move on and forget the pain that this bad incident. We don’t want to be stress out or be depress in reminiscing the bad situation or stuffs we have encountered. I believe in saying that in order to forget we need to forgive. Stress/Depression are just one thing we should avoid the most, so I guess forgetting the pains and suffering is what we need.
Well, practically, we can never be fully grown ups if we never had our bad past. We felt some kinda cruel but it has the lesson we never can forget, and this makes us confident enough facing new ones.